Drugs and alcohol are for many, what has offered a reprieve from the harshness of old reality that was being felt and left one utterly confused for the most part. At least that was my experience growing up. A reprieve from all that containment, repression, suppression, self judgement and lack of self worth. A moment of escape from the guilt, the shame, the hurt of what seems like normal life.
I acknowledge that alcohol and drugs helped me many times in the earlier years of experimentation to come out of my egoic shy and confused shell, only to retrieve back in the next day with some kind of hangover or even just simple fatigue from all that letting my hair down so to speak....!!! : )
Don't get me wrong I had a ball partying my bootie off. It was a blast and amazing medium to unleash my wild child self. But like anything in life, be it food, sex, porn, drugs, work, money. It's when it starts to become a crutch or a neediness, even desperation, in order to have fun, relax, have a sense of worth and value, a way to remove and distract oneself from the truth of the present moment. What if we have used it to simple turn away from the inner knowing that its time to party in a new way, a more expanded, creative, fulfilling, abundantly flowing, natural and organic way. Ohhhh OUCH but that would mean change and as humanity with a low self worth that often times seemed like a more difficult path to choose as it would ask us to step into the unknown with trust and faith of a inner guiding light to take us by the hand step by step. A big ask if you don't trust yourself and know your worth and that there is no such thing as getting it wrong ! ! ! See the co-num-drum we had our selfs in....aaaaahhhhh you have to laugh, we are utterly hilarious. We sure got ourselves in a few twists over the years..!
I chose my life journey very well indeed so I could be here with you now in this new energy, new era of limitless possibilities with the deepest compassion and authentic understanding of our collective human journey. I have travelled the path perhaps just like you, from the depth of disconnected dis-empowered reality and somehow, someway by following my inner impulse and stubborn wild child willing to settle for nothing less I managed to find my way home back to my heart gateway and access to my multidimensional integrated body of consciousness that is inclusive of the all that is. The 'I AM THAT I AM' .
Over the latter years especially my caterpillar self emerged as a beautiful butterfly connected to source creator. This butterfly me is aware, awake and eventual more and more accepting her creational power through divine love to create worlds, to create our new reality.
This butterfly remembers its all about me because I am the universe in person. This may seem like a grand fictional statement and yet I claim it as my truth and mostly I claim it because it feels so dame good and empowering. It completely relax's my mind chatter as it surrenders into this great loving power and vaster knowing of my creator self. I know I honor all life in the biggest way by claiming and embracing this truth.
This outer reality is but a beautiful playground of experience and signals to consistently clarify my creations within. I now joyously take full responsibility for my energy. If something on the outer world triggers me in any way I NOW use it to support and inform my new version creation of my reality.
I know my most important question and job today is how much can I love and show up for myself today, listen and hear myself honestly / honourable and BE the powerful joyous creator I came here to be. I know what Gandi meant when he said "Be the change you want to see in the world". We are each that powerful a creator within. Its time to stop looking outside for the answer or something or someone to blame. That game is getting very dull at this stage of our enlightened reality.
LOVE is the power. Not the human love of conditions in a polarised world but a LOVE that is the spirit and power that knows all in its perfection on every vibrational frequency and dimension of expression, that has a innocence and organic nature to just BE and know absolutely and eternally that all is well, always has been and always will be. Love is the dance of new creation emanating, pulsing and radiating our through us now if we allow and surrender into this wondrous dance of divine orchestration.
Please don't belief anything I have written here or feel you need to make it right or wrong. Only take away that which lightens your heart, calms and sooth your mental mind and ego while giving you a permission slip to know and accept its all ok, your ok. Be open to allowing a smile creep up on your face as you ponder that it may well be the most humorous ridiculous cosmic joke there is, as we learn to laugh with ourselves and then each other. Allow your feeling body to be your guiding light of your own truths..not mine and not someone else's. I share my stories, insights, reflections, perceptions, musing and enlightened a-ha's to spark in you your own remembrance to your own truth and limitless joyous power within to create all your heart felt dreams into reality.
Namaste enlightened one : )
I recommend you also read my Blog Post I'm continually awed by the POWER I AM as this writing followed on from that one....believe it or not !??? I never know where its all going to go either..? I just allow myself become the stream of expression and onto the laptop it flows. It feels so good to let loose and be the freedom of my authentic expression. Thank god for editing, copy & pasting too ..!!! It pretty easy to be grateful in this new energy, new era of high vibe supportive creational free flow : )